Dear fellow parents,

Gender equity and the seemingly difficult topic of consent has consumed the media and the conversations at home over the past few weeks.

And I want to start a conversation about what we are doing at home to teach our kids about consent and gender equity, because the first time our kids hear about this shouldn’t be in a health & PE lesson.  

I’m happy to put myself out there and go first, letting you know what I am doing with my three boys, keeping in mind I am not an expert and I’m just doing my best, just as you all are too. Please join feel free to join in this conversation over on our facebook page, because I firmly believe this is something we should talking about from a parent perspective.

At my home, we play a hypothetical game over the dinner table. It comes with a warning that the expectation is that it will be awkward, but there are no wrong answers, I want them to think and work things out for themselves so all debate is welcome.

Then I pose my three teenage boys an age-appropriate hypothetical but challenging situation.

Things like…“What would do you think you would be like drunk with your inhibitions dimmed and your confidence heightened?”

 “What would you do if you were at a party and a female friend was falling down drunk and obviously not wearing underwear?”

“What would you do if you were in the middle of getting frisky and your partner stopped responding, what do you think that means?”

And my personal favourite… “What is more important, your biological urges or your partners safety?”

My husband and I then listen and facilitate the discussion and we intersperse the discussion with examples of our own lived experiences and the times we made mistakes or when we did the wrong things.

Only just very recently my sons have connected the dots of behaviours they have witnessed from me (checking the car before we get in, taking the long way because it’s lit or running to get to the car) with the fact that I can feel unsafe and that is because of my gender.

That conversation lead to a brilliant discussion about the things their father does to make women feel safe in the presence of a 6ft+ male. And that it takes nothing away from him but can reassure women in his presence that they are safe.

What tactics are you using to teach your kids about consent?

If you are feeling ill prepared or feel you don’t know enough to tackle these definitely awkward but necessary conversation with your kids, here are some links and articles that might help. I’m a big fan of leaving articles/pages open on the computer screen and then going back later and asking what they thought of it. It slightly lowers the awkwardness levels!

https://teachingsexualhealth.ca/parents/information-by-topic/understanding-consent/

https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/consent-at-every-age#toddlers-and-early-elementary

https://au.reachout.com/articles/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-sexual-consent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3nhM9UlJjc&t=76s

https://www.talkwithyourkids.org/lets-talk-about/healthy-sex-talk-teaching-kids-consent-ages-1-21.html

https://michellemitchell.org/how-to-help-our-girls-set-and-respect-healthy-boundaries/

https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/communication/how-to-teach-consent-to-boys-without-shaming-them

There has been a barrage of information, comment and blame thrown around in response to this topic. We are all questioning “Who is responsible?” I read one Principal firmly blaming parents for allowing parties (kids are going to party and push boundaries and we know they are resourceful so if it’s not at your place it will be at the park down the road!). I have been horrified by the amount of Victim Blaming (she shouldn’t have been drunk anyway!) I have been blown away with the lack of understanding around the embedded societal and cultural implications of this issues.

The ONLY way this issue can be solved is if EVERYBODY in the community takes responsibility from the highest echelons of federal government to the school yards and our own family homes. Teaching the younger generations about consent needs to be embedded, modelled and practiced everywhere.

While we are here having uncomfortable conversation let’s talk about the role our schools play in teaching our kids culture and social standards. Sometimes we may feel powerless or sidelined in these discussions, but the message for parents is exactly the same for our kids.

“The behaviour you walk past is the behaviour you condone.”

So, if you have concerns about your school culture let’s talk about ways you can address it effectively. Here are a few suggestions to kick off this conversation.

• Call your P&F reps and say you would like it added to the agenda.
• Approach the Principal and say you would like to have a cohesive community conversation about this.
• Invite all of the school community to a community meeting.

Let’s get this out in the open. The most important aspect of this approach is insisting on a ‘calling in’ approach. (We are calling all of our parents, teachers, students and school leaders IN to listen and learn about the community’s concerns.)

This is in contrast to ‘calling out’ culture, which we are seeing in many of our institutions right now. This method casts blame and allows little room for education, discussion, debate or the opportunity to gain a greater understanding of the complexities of the issues. And make no mistake this issue is exceptionally complex, with many actors having considerable influence over the perceptions of our young people over many years of development and growing up.

There is no quick fix to changing a culture, but breaking down the issues to be discussed is a great way of moving forward. Perhaps call your school community in to have a discussion about how parents approach house parties. You may find other parents feel pressured to do things and you may find the entire parent community feels this way and agreement in a different way to proceed is easy. Other topics to consider could be the sporting culture of the school, risky behaviours through a health promotion lens or how gender equity of situated at school.

If we aim for a mind-opening session and discussion and try to gain a consensus and supported solution from your parent body, perhaps we can make some progress. Keep in mind that part of the ‘calling in’ process means there isn’t a forgone conclusion before the meeting and the consensus is a result of the discussion produced AT the meeting. Every school is unique and your aim should include connecting to the reasons why you choose the school in the first place.

My best piece of advice is if you have witnessed poor behaviour or problematic culture now is the best time to draw attention to it. Often as parents we feel reluctant to raise difficult issues at school, but if we are to help this generation realise gender equity and really understand consent as something that applies to us all, in real life situations. These are conversations we need to be having openly and families and schools need to work together.

From really insignificant things, big things can grow. So if you witness seemingly trivial behaviours like preferential treatment of athletes, ask the question of school leadership. Ask is this a practice we want to support?  Because if one positive has come out of the distressing and challenging events of recent weeks it is that this could be a real opportunity to help change things and as parents we can help make it happen.

Online Live Webinar 7.30 - 8.30pm AEST Wednesday 28 April

Here's your chance to put your questions directly to the person in charge of NAPLAN 2021 and the Australian Curriculum. David de Carvalho, CEO of the Australian Curriculum Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA), will be joining us live for our parent Q&A session with other senior members of his team...

What's the point of NAPLAN...What difference does going online make for students...What special provisions can my child get...Why do results take so long to get to parents???

Or you might have questions about the curriculum...How is consent covered...Are we teaching the right kind and level of Maths...Is there too much emphasis on spelling and punctuation in an age of auto correct...Should teachers have more flexibility to design their own classes...How can parents and students give feedback on the curriculum???

The event is being hosted by Jenni Rickard, President of the Australian Parents Council (APC), is free and open to all parents and carers.

David de Carvalho has promised to try and answer any and all of your questions. Please feel free to submit questions ahead of the event to media@austparents.edu.au and please feel free to share this event with your network. We will send you details of how to join the Q&A session once you register.

For up to date info on NAPLAN for parents and carers you can also visit the ACARA website www.nap.edu.au/naplan/parent-carer-support

Students with disability and their parents and carers told the 2020 Review of the Disability Standards for Education that there is a 'power imbalance between them and education providers', according to its recently published report, which includes a new action plan to address some major issues uncovered.

Parents said they felt 'it was up to them to understand the laws and education system so they can advocate for reasonable adjustments'.

The report also says that schools and education providers were 'unaware of their responsibilities under the Standards or do not have the information they need to implement them. Students with disability had better experiences when their educators and education providers had a good understanding of the Standards and knew how to follow the Standards,' and found that 'accountability for making sure the Standards are followed needs to be improved.'

In response the government is taking action aimed at:

• Empowering and supporting students with disability and their families, including clearer rules on consulting with students with disability and their families and handling issues and complaints.
• Strengthening the knowledge and capability of educators and providers, including information for education providers and training on the Standards for school teachers and leaders
• Providing more accountability for the Standards throughout education, including making sure education policies match the Standards
• Building awareness and capability in the Early Childhood Education and Care (ECEC) sector.

The Disability Standards are designed to help make sure 'students with disability can access and participate in education and training on the same basis as students without disability. This includes preschool, school, vocational education and training, and higher education. The Standards explain the responsibilities education providers have under the Disability Discrimination Act 1992.'

The 2020 Review of the Standards heard from students with disability, as well as their parents and carers and disability advocacy groups. It also heard from educators and education providers. The Review had a focus on the experiences of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students and their families.

For more information, go to www.dese.gov.au/disability-standards-education-2005/2020-review-disability-standards-education-2005.

APC has produced two new video case studies about vocational education and training opportunities.

• This is Grace's story - she took a school based apprenticeship in construction and loved it. She combined it with other courses at school so also got an ATAR and now has the choice between a full time apprenticeship or university either now or in the future.
  

• This is Nathan's story. He took a school based apprenticeship in horticulture and found what he loved doing. He's already getting on in his career with another apprenticeship straight from school and has started his own business on the side.
  

These real life stories, highlighting the unexpectedly wide range of opportunities modern VET programs offer young people, are part of a joint project between the Australian Parents Council and the National Careers Institute (nci.dese.gov.au). They are hosted on YouTube and are free to share so can be used for presentations, careers evenings, P&F groups, newsletters etc. Contact media@austparents.edu.au if you would like copies of the original video files. 

YEAR13 Expo, is a totally free, 100% online careers exhibition for young people exploring their post school - or Year13 - options.

YEAR13 describes it as a chance for students to 'hear about your dream career from speakers killing it in their industry and explore exhibitors across work, study and travel - all without getting out of bed.

'In a nutshell, the Year 13 Expo is designed to help you find your passion and plan your future.

'Over the course of three days and with the help of 30+ incredible speakers and over a hundred exhibitors, we wanna show you that pursuing a career doing something you love is not only possible, but totally worthwhile.

No matter whether you’re unsure about what you should be doing with your future or you’re keen to learn how to land your dream job - we’ll have something for you.'

If you think this will appeal to your teenager, why not get them to sign up. It'll also give you as a parent up to date info and could be a good conversation opener with your young person.

YEAR13 as an organisations takes a really fresh approach to helping young people work out what they're interested in and how to identify their skillset and connect the dots to what they want to do after school. APC is currently exploring with Y13 how we can work together so watch this space for further updates...

Can you help researchers wanting to find out more about what kind of career advice parents are giving their secondary school children in years 10, 11 or 12.

Parents are the biggest single influence on young people making career choices and the online survey is designed to help understand the support needed by parents in providing informed advice.

Professor Denise Jackson from Edith Cowan University in Perth explains that her research is looking at 'parent perceptions on available career opportunities for their children and what employers are looking for in youth employees.'

The survey will close on 30^th April 2021 and responses are confidential. The study has been approved by the ECU Human Research Ethics Committee.

APC has recently started a working relationship with the Council of Single Mothers and their Children (CSMC), and we thought it would be a good start to share who they are and some of what they do with our audience.

CSMC is a community organisation run by and for single mothers. It's based in Victoria, but has members around the country and has 'been supporting and empowering single mothers and fighting for changes to systems, services and community attitudes since 1969'.

'Founded on a self-help model, CSMC’s work is informed by interacting with our members, Support Line callers and other contacts. The perseverance and hope of single mothers as they face the joys and challenges of parenting alone inspires and shapes our representation and advocacy for single mother families.'

CSMC has a wide range of priorities, including specifically on education: Help for parents on school issues, back to school grants for Victorian families, parenting support and flexible employment and study, and social connections.

They provide information and referrals via a telephone Support Line and emails, distribute emergency relief and collaborate with other organisations and our members in advocating for change.

You can find out more by:

Come and join out special interest Facebook groups - designed to connect and inform parents and carers, who give their time and energy at their children's school and help build their school community.

COVID has underlined for all of us that connectivity matters, and there has been a whole lot of innovation going on in schools when it comes to parent events, fund raising and community building lately. So we decided to provide some dedicated independent platforms, where members from different schools can share ideas and problem solve.

To ensure these are 'safe spaces' they are 'members only', but we encourage you to send us a request to join if you are interested in connecting with other parents, carers and/or board members.

You can find our more and request to join by following these links:

We're very happy to invite you to become a friend of the Australian Parents Council. You can join us as an individual, a school or an organisation. You don't have to be part of a particular school sector and can come from anywhere in Australia. The single most important qualification for becoming a friend of the APC is that you are passionate about education.

As an organisation, we believe that active and empowered parents and carers can, and do, make a significant difference to children’s achievement.

We have a proud tradition of supporting and advocating for parents going back to 1962. We are not-for-profit, non-denominational and non-party political, funded by parents and supported by government. We are not controlled or appointed by a school sector, although we do work closely with government and education providers. We are fiercely independent, as we believe this enables us to provide an authentic parent voice. 

We provide a genuine parent perspective on education issues, and we are widely consulted.

We advocate at a national level for:

• school choice
• parent voice
• equity in access and funding
• quality education for all students.

Friends will go onto our mailing list to receive all our newsletters, and other publications like media releases and reports. We will also invite our friends to share their insights and feedback on a wide range of issues affecting school parents.